


Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

by OneMoreNight1996



Series: In Another Place [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Abortion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Family, Friendship, Love, Teen Pregnancy, tough conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25902790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneMoreNight1996/pseuds/OneMoreNight1996
Summary: When Arya and Gendry get drunk and spend the night together it has unintended consequences. This prompts tough conversations about their relationship to one another and what it truly means to each of them.
Relationships: Arya Stark/Gendry Waters
Series: In Another Place [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879798
Comments: 15
Kudos: 101





	Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

She'd promised herself that she'd forget it, the night that she'd spent with Gendry, but her mind refused to let it go. They'd both been drunk, the kind of drunk where you can't remember why doing something you shouldn't is such a bad idea, and they'd ended up in bed together. The next morning he'd told her in no uncertain terms that it was a mistake and that they should just forget about it and she'd agreed, though she obviously couldn't keep her end of that because here she was, still thinking about it.

The whole situation was complicated. Gendry had come into her life when she was quite young, when Jon had brought him home from school and introduced him as his best friend, and over the years they'd become close. She now considered him her best friend as well, though she was unsure where he stood on that, and they'd spent a lot of time together before they'd ended up in bed together. Though now she had barely seen him in the last two months which was the longest they'd gone without really hanging out and she could admit that it hurt a little.

Now though, it seemed that their would be no more avoiding as she sincerely needed to talk to him. Her heart was racing as she looked down at the plastic stick in her hand that displayed the truth that she'd been trying to avoid in big bold letters. She was pregnant. She didn't know what to do and the absolute dread filling her veins wasn't helping at all. She couldn't think beyond needing to talk to Gendry, if he'd even see her.

She ripped up the box that the test came in and shoved it to the bottom of the trashcan where no one would see it and shoved the test into her bag before leaving the house entirely. She passed by Rickon and Bran in the living room and gave a thought to where her parents were at that moment before deciding that it didn't really matter, they wouldn't question her leaving the house anyway as they gave their children a bit of free range trusting them not to get into to much trouble. She certainly wasn't looking forward to them finding out about the pregnancy. She knew they'd get that disappointed look on their faces that she hated.

On her drive over to Gendry's flat, which he shared with her brother Jon, she turned the radio on to distract herself from thoughts of the pregnancy. It didn't really work but it kept her focused enough to make it across town. She knew that Jon was spending the day with his girlfriend as it was their anniversary so she hoped that would give her the privacy she needed to speak to Gendry about everything without having to deal with anyone else's emotions on top of theirs.

Standing in front of the flat that she'd spent the majority of her time before the incident, she almost wanted to turn around and walk away rather than telling Gendry anything but instead she straightened her shoulders and pulled in a deep breath before raising her hand to knock. She heard shuffling inside for a few moments before the door opened and there Gendry was.

They stared at each other, neither saying a word, until she cleared her throat and stepped past him into the flat. He closed the door slowly behind him and stayed by it rather than moving closer to her.

"We need to talk." She said and he sighed.

"What about?" He asked. She raised an eyebrow.

"You know what about. We got drunk and had sex then we both agreed to forget all about it." She said, crossing her arms over her chest. "But now, you've been avoiding me like I'm some stranger you had a one night stand with and not your best friend."

"Arya..." He said slowly. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to avoid you, I just have a lot of feelings about what happened that I need to work through and it was easier to do that if I didn't have to see you every day."

"Feelings." She said, feeling a bit of hurt at his words. "What feelings?"

"What we did....It should never have happened." He said seriously. "You're seventeen. I should have stopped it."

"Seventeen is the age of consent if that's what you're worried about." She said. "We can handle this like adults."

"That's just it Arya, you're not an adult!" He said. "No matter how mature you think you are, you're still young."

"Stop treating me like I'm a child!" She exclaimed.

"It was wrong." Gendry insisted. "I just need a bit of time away from you to sort out how I feel about this, okay? I promise that I'll work it out but you can't be around while I do."

"You want me to go?" She asked.

"I do." He said seriously. "Just for a little while."

"Right." She nodded quickly, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from falling. "Well, before I go, you should know that I'm pregnant."

"Are you serious?" He asked, the anger obvious in his voice. It was a reaction that she wasn't expecting. He was surly and unsociable, and sometimes angry, but never with her and it made it even harder to prevent the tears she felt pressing at the back of her eyes. "I tell you I need some time away from you and you suddenly claim that you're pregnant? This isn't a game Arya. You shouldn't make things up just because you don't like what I've said."

"I'm not making it up." She said, her voice breaking despite her efforts to prevent it, as she dug through her bag to find the test she'd taken. She tossed it onto the table and it slid across until it was almost off the edge and she watched as his eyes locked onto it. He picked up the test and studied it before his eyes snapped to hers.

"Is it mine?" He asked and her brows raised.

"Yes, it's yours." She said, her tone holding an edge of annoyance on top of the hurt and sadness. She shook her head. "You know what, you can go to hell."

She pushed past him, ignoring him calling her name softly, and the door was left open behind her as she rushed away. She made it to her car before the tears slipped out and she leaned her forehead on the steering wheel as she attempted to get her emotions under control. When she finally managed to stop the tears, she wiped her hand across her face to remove the wet tracks and sniffled lightly before pulling out her phone and calling her doctor's office to set up an appointment. She knew that she needed to confirm the pregnancy with more than just a home test for her own nerves before deciding what to do about the whole situation. They had an open spot that day, with someone having cancelled their own appointment, so she agreed to come in.

She took a deep breath and rubbed her hands over her face once more before putting her key in the ignition and pulling away from the curb to go further into the city where her doctor was located. She had time before her appointment so she went through a drive through to get a blended coffee drink that was full of sugar, knowing that she would regret it later when she crashed but not really caring. She needed a pick me up.

Her phone started ringing as she waited in the line to pay and when she saw Gendry's name flashing across her caller ID, she silenced the phone and threw it face down on the seat next to her. She didn't want to speak to him at that moment. The look that the drive through worker gave her when she pulled up told her that she probably looked worse than she had thought from the crying. She ignored the woman's concerned look as she took the drink and drove away. The last thing she needed right now was judgement from other people as she wasn't even sure how she felt beyond being hurt.

* * *

The doctor's office was packed when she finally made it so she signed in and found one of the last open chairs to sit in as she sipped on the coffee in her hand. She knew that she technically wasn't supposed to have drinks in the office but she decided to ignore that for the day. People around her got called, one by one, until finally her name was called close to an hour later and she was led back to an examination room. The nurse took her vitals and began asking questions until Arya told her what she was there for. She saw the surprise in the woman's eyes that she tried to hide and she tried not to let it bother her. She knew people would have something to say about her age and her predicament.

When the nurse left the room, she laid back on the examination table and stared at the ceiling, focusing on her breathing to stop her thoughts from overwhelming her. She managed to almost meditate and clear her mind before the doctor entered the room with a polite smile making her feel much calmer as the appointment truly started.

"So, I understand that you're here to confirm a pregnancy." Dr. Smallwood said, her voice devoid of judgement and Arya blew out a breath before sighing.

"That's correct." She confirmed. "I took a home pregnancy test and got a positive result. I know that they're generally very accurate on their own but I figured that it couldn't hurt to get a second opinion."

"Of course." Dr. Smallwood nodded. "We can do a blood test just to be extra sure if you'd like."

"I would. Thank you." She nodded.

"Right, now I have to ask you a few questions." Dr. Smallwood said and she nodded again.

She answered every question honestly before allowing the doctor to examine her physically, all but confirming her suspicions, before Dr. Smallwood once again took a seat in front of her and looked at her seriously.

"Now, the father of your child, do you know him well?" She asked.

"I've known him most of my life but we're not together." She admitted. "This just kind of happened. We were drinking or otherwise, I would have remembered a condom. Or rather, we never would have had sex."

"Did he have previous partners, do you know? Or did you?" She asked and Arya nodded.

"We've both had other partners." She told her. Dr. Smallwood nodded before making a note in her file.

"I'll add a full panel STI test to the blood work as well, just in case." She said. Arya wasn't sure what to say to that so she chose not to comment figuring that getting tested was probably a good idea anyway.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." She said. "I didn't plan to get pregnant, especially not right now."

Dr. Smallwood stared at her for a moment with pursed lips before rolling her chair over to the cabinet in the corner of the room. She slid open a drawer and pulled out a stack of pamphlets and handed them to Arya.

"You have options, Arya." She said, her voice kind. "You don't have to do this, if you choose not to."

Arya took the pamphlets and flicked through them. There were ones on adoption, abortion, and even ones for if she chose to keep the baby. She wasn't sure what she wanted in that moment but she thanked the doctor for them and slid them into the front pocket of her bag to look through later.

"Thank you." She said sincerely.

"Of course." Dr. Smallwood nodded before handing her another piece of paper. "Now, take this back to the lab and they'll complete the blood work. You should receive a call in the next two days with the results. You can schedule another appointment on your way out or call in to make one."

Arya nodded again, shaking the doctor's hand, before leaving the exam room and making her way to the back of the office where the lab was located. She handed the paper to the man working there and sat down in the chair as he prepared what he needed and drew her blood. He took a couple of vials before pressing cotton to her arm and wrapping it up and allowing her to leave.

She opted out of making a second appointment for the time being and when she got out to her car she decided to check her phone just in case her parents or one of her siblings had called. None of them had but she did have twenty three missed calls from Gendry and she let out a long sigh. She knew she'd need to deal with it at some point but she just didn't have the energy for it. She didn't think she could get through a second conversation with him that day so she ignored the missed calls and drove home instead.

She noted the extra cars in the driveway that told her that Robb and Theon were both at the house along with the rest of her family aside from Jon but she couldn't find it in herself to care. She heard conversation drifting from the kitchen but she avoided everyone by going directly upstairs and practically falling into her own bed, shoving her face into the pillows, and staying there. Nymeria, who'd followed her up the stairs, climbed onto the bed and cuddled into her side making her roll over to wrap her arms around her.

It was then that the tears began falling once more and she buried her face in Nymeria's fur to muffle the sobs. Nymeria whimpered in concern but Arya just held onto her tighter. Her heart hurt so much it was almost physical and she wanted to stay buried under her covers forever. She felt like she'd lost her best friend, all because they'd gotten a little too drunk at a party and slept together.

If she was honest with herself, she knew it had happened because it had been building between them for so long that with the alcohol lowing their inhibitions, they'd both finally let go of all the reasons not to do it that had seemed so important. She loved him, she always had, and it was clear to her now that he didn't feel the same. It had only been sexual to him, that was clear to her now, and he regretted it. That much was obvious in his refusal of her and his insistence that she was too young and that, more than anything else, was what hurt.

Even when they'd agreed to forget about it, she had harbored hope that it would spark a change in their relationship and she'd be able to finally tell him how she felt and instead it had done the exact opposite. They were further apart now than they ever had been and on top of it, she was dealing with a pregnancy that she wasn't even sure she wanted. That one night had fucked everything up. If she could go back, she'd never have done it.

* * *

The next morning dawned bright and early, quickly making Arya realize that she'd fallen asleep at some point, and she sighed as she rubbed her hands over her face. As she sat up in bed, she instantly regretted it as a wave of nausea rolled over her and she jolted from the bed to sprint to the bathroom and empty her stomach. When the puking finally stopped she leaned her head on the edge of the toilet, her breathing heavy, and took a moment to recover.

When she finally felt steady enough, she stood slowly so she didn't upset her stomach again, and moved to the sink to rinse her mouth and brush her teeth. After that, she hopped in the shower and cleaned herself, scrubbing her hands over her face to remove all traces of her tears from the previous day, before climbing out and forcing a happy expression onto her face.

By the time she had gotten dressed, everyone was already sitting around the breakfast table and they all glanced at her when she came in. She greeted her parents easily before pouring herself a bowl of cereal, hoping desperately that it wouldn't make her sick, and joined everyone else. She listened to the small talk without contributing much herself, even as Rickon told some long winded story about his best friend Lyanna Mormont and some mishap on the playground that had ended up with one boy bleeding on the ground and both of them getting a letter home to their parents. Her mother tutted disapprovingly while reading said letter.

Finally, breakfast ended and her father left the table to go into his study and get on with work while Bran and Rickon left to watch TV. Their mother had asked her and Sansa to stay behind and Arya's heart began racing as she folded her hands on the table.

"Now, do either of you have anything to tell me?" She asked and Arya's mind erupted into a string of curse words. She and Sansa exchanged looks and, to her surprise, her sister had panic in her eyes as well.

"Okay, I snuck out to go to a party with Jeyne but you need to understand, everyone was there. I couldn't be the only person in who didn't go." Sansa said in a rush. "And I'm an adult so I can go wherever I want."

Their mother raised an eyebrow at Sansa.

"You're right, you are an adult and you can make your own decisions." She said. "You hardly needed to sneak out, you could have just told your father and I, but thank you for saying it anyway."

"If it's not about that then what is this about?" Sansa asked, genuine confusion in her voice and their mother's eyes immediately swung to her. She knew before her mother even spoke that she had found out and that was confirmed when she lifted the ripped box onto the table and looked at both of them.

"I found this in the trash. Whoever it was who took it was obviously trying to hide it but I noticed the corner sticking out. I've taken enough of them myself to recognize what it was." She said. "So, I'll ask again. Do you girls have anything to tell me?"

Sansa glanced at her with wide eyes making it obvious to all of them that it clearly wasn't hers and her mother's eyes settled on her immediately. She suddenly wished to be anywhere else in the world but she knew that there was no escaping this. Her eyes flicked between her mother and sister rapidly before she buried her face in her hands as tears sprung to her eyes and she had a distant thought that she was sick of crying but she couldn't seem to stop it.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I didn't mean for it to happen."

She heard her mother's chair scrape against the floor as she got up and Arya was sure that she was on her way to get their father but instead, she was surprised by her mother's arms wrapping around her and smoothing her hair down gently as she made soft shushing sounds.

"Shh, it's alright, my love. We'll figure this out." She said softly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

She felt another pair of arms join the hug and knew it was Sansa. She took a moment to accept the comfort from her mother and sister as she worked to make the tears stop but finally, after a few minutes, she pulled out of their embrace to look at them fully. Her mother pulled out the chair next to her rather than going back to her previous position and pushed her hair back from her face as she looked at her seriously.

"Please don't tell dad." She said, her voice rough from the tears.

"Sweetheart, you know I can't keep this from him." Her mother said gently. "But don't worry, like I said. we'll figure it out."

"I don't know if I want to have a baby." She admitted and her mother brushed her tears away.

"That's okay." She said. "It's your choice and we'll support you every step of the way."

"Thank you." She breathed out. "For not getting angry."

Her mother opened her mouth to reply but whatever she was going to say was lost when Jon walked into the kitchen unexpectedly. His eye went wide as he took in their position and her tear stained face before his eyes drifted to the box that her mother had left on the table when she had moved to comfort her. She saw the wheels turning in his head before he opened his mouth to say something but she didn't give him the opportunity to speak.

She leapt from her chair and pushed past him to rush up the stairs to avoid the whole situation. Jon was her favorite brother, he always had been, but he was also Gendry's roommate and the last person she wanted to discuss this with. No one in her family knew who the father of her child was and she didn't want them to but she knew that if Jon pushed enough that she'd crack. He always seemed to be able to get things out of her that no one else could and she didn't want to cause problems between him and Gendry.

She didn't like his reaction to the pregnancy but, despite it all, Gendry was still her friend. She was angry with him but she didn't resent him or want to cause him harm so the best thing in this situation was for her family to remain in the dark about the father.

She buried her face in her pillow, trying desperately to block out everything around her, and she almost wanted to scream when her phone kept bleeping with messages. She rolled over to snatch it from the bedside table where she'd placed it on the charger and a glance at the screen told her that Gendry had moved from calling to texts and she groaned as she switched her phone off entirely. She didn't feel ready to talk to him either.

She'd just put her phone back on the bedside table when a soft knock came at her door before it opened to reveal her father. She met his eyes for a moment before shoving her face back into the pillow. She heard her bedroom door closing quietly moments before her bed sunk slightly as her father sat on the edge. He didn't say anything for long enough that she lifted her face to look at him in question and he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Are you ready to talk now?" He asked gently. She sighed as she turned over onto her back before sitting up and pulling her knees in to wrap her arms around and she propped her chin on them to meet her father's eyes.

"I made a mistake." She said softly, feeling ashamed for the first time as he looked at her. She had never wanted to disappoint her father and she felt like she'd failed at that.

"I suppose you did." He said. "But the thing about mistakes, is that you get the chance to fix them. I guess, the question here is, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know." She said, chewing her lip. "I don't think I can do it. Have a baby, I mean, not right now. I want to go to college and meet new people and just be a normal seventeen year old. And I know, I should have thought of all of that before I got myself into this situation but I didn't. I was stupid but I don't want that to ruin my life and I know, every child is a blessing and all of that, but I can't do it daddy."

"It's true that every child is a blessing." He said, reaching out to grasp her hand in his. "For the people who want children, who are ready for them, but you have a choice. If this is something you feel like you can't do, that you don't want, then you don't have too."

"I don't want to do this." She said, feeling firm in her decision.

"Okay." Her father nodded. "Your mother and I will deal with the details. We'll get this taken care of."

"Thank you." She said softly.

"Of course." He said, leaning over to kiss her forehead. "You know you can always come to us, with anything, and we'll help you. Okay?"

"Okay." She nodded.

He patted her hand lightly and got up from her bed to leave her room, closing the door behind him, and the moment it clicked shut she sank back into her bed and pulled the blankets around her to block out the world for a while. She didn't have the emotional energy to deal with the fallout of her entire family knowing about her pregnancy so she made the executive decision to ignore it.

* * *

She stayed in her room for most of the next two days with occasional visits from her siblings, none of them addressing the elephant in the room which she was grateful about, as it was literally the last thing she wanted to talk about and she was just happy to spend time with all of them. Her mother had told her that she had been able to make an appointment for her at the clinic but they hadn't had an opening until the next week and she'd gotten a call from the doctor's office confirming her pregnancy whole also giving her a clean bill of health in regards to the STI tests. What finally pushed her to check the messages on her phone was the realization that she didn't want to go to her appointment at the clinic without talking to Gendry first. He had a right to know.

She bypassed the voicemails immediately, not sure if she was ready to hear his voice yet, and instead chose to check the text messages that had been steadily flowing through.

_I'm sorry._

_Please talk to me._

_I never meant to hurt you._

They were mostly the same, expressing his regret and begging her to call him, and she realized that maybe he'd been suffering just as much as she had. She knew that he didn't feel the same way that she did but they were still friends and she was shutting him out. She knew that he had to be hurt by her actions but she couldn't bring herself to be entirely sorry about it. She felt a petty satisfaction to be the one avoiding him, maybe he'd see how she had felt after the night they'd shared.

It was that thought that made her fling her covers back and leave the bed. She didn't like that she was thinking things like that about her best friend and she knew that she had to make it right between them or this would permanently damage the friendship that they shared. It occurred to her that she had subconsciously been blaming him for all of this when she shouldn't have been and she needed to let it go. It's not as if he got her pregnant on purpose, she knew that.

She was halfway down the stairs when she heard a knock at the door and before she could reach it, Jon came from the living room and opened it himself. Gendry was standing on the doorstep and she noted that he looked terrible. He had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't been sleeping well and the stubble along his cheeks told her that he hadn't shaved in a few days either. Their eyes met and she felt her heart clench in her chest.

"Hey, Gendry." Jon greeted happily. "Did I forget something at the flat 'cause I'm sure I have everything I need for my stay here or I could borrow it from one of my siblings."

"What?" Gendry asked, as his eyes drifted to her brother. He seemed not to have caught a word Jon said but he shook his head anyway as he looked back at her. "We need to talk. Please."

She opened her mouth to agree when she noted that Jon was looking back and forth between them with a look of disbelief on his face.

"Oh my gods." Sansa said, drawing Arya's attention to the living room and making her realize that her entire family was there. They were all staring at her and Gendry with similar looks of disbelief to Jon.

"It's you." Jon said, his voice going from shock to anger like a switch had been flipped. "You knocked up my little sister! What the hell, Gendry? She's seventeen. What were you even thinking going anywhere near her?"

"Jon, you're one of my best friends and I respect you but this is really none of your business." Gendry said.

"None of my business?!" Jon exploded. "She's my little sister, you dick!"

She saw his hands balling into fists and knew he was seconds from swinging so she hastily moved down the rest of the stairs and placed herself between them, holding her hands up to press against her brother's chest and push him back lightly. He was practically vibrating with rage.

"He's right, Jon." She said. "Back off."

"Arya..." Jon said and she held up a hand as she shook her head.

"I can handle it." She said, reaching back to grab Gendry by the wrist to pull him up the stairs. She looked at each of her family members in turn. "Let me deal with this."

She pushed Gendry up the remaining stairs and into her bedroom before flipping the lock to give them some semblance of privacy just in case Jon decided to be his usual overprotective self and tried to follow them up the stairs. She turned to face Gendry, who was standing awkwardly in the center of her room, and she leaned against the door as she blew out a long breath.

They stared at each other for a long time, neither of them seeming quite sure how to start this conversation, before she sighed and moved toward her bed to sit on the edge. She patted the spot beside her, prompting him to join her, and he seemed to study her before he took a deep breath.

"How are you?" He asked softly. She shrugged lightly, pulling her sleeves down over her hands while she chewed on her lips.

"I've been better." She admitted. "But I'm okay, mostly."

"I'm sorry." He said seriously, taking her hand in his. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

"It's okay." She said and he shook his head.

"It's not." He said. "And while I'm apologizing, I never should have attacked your age when we were arguing. That was my own issues coming out."

"What do you mean?" She asked, finally looking up at him.

"The morning I woke up with you in my bed and I realized what we'd done, I felt horrible. I felt like I'd taken advantage of you even though we'd both been drunk. I was older, I should've stopped it. That's what I thought." He told her. "I'd spent so long before that putting you in a box, in my mind, that made you untouchable. First, it was because you were Jon's sister and then, after we became friends, I put emphasis on your age in my head to put a distance between us."

"Why?" She asked softly.

"I never wanted you to feel like I was taking advantage of you or exploiting our friendship in any way." He said. "I wanted you to feel safe with me. To not feel like you had to constantly rebuff advances."

"I do feel safe with you." She told him honestly.

"Even now?" He asked. "After everything?"

"Yes." She nodded. He let out a long breath.

"I'm glad." He said. They were quiet for a moment before she blew out a breath. 

"I'm sorry for avoiding you and not answering your calls or texts." She said and he shrugged lightly.

"It's okay." He said.

"It's not." She said, aware that her response mirrored his earlier one. He looked at her again before his eyes darted to her stomach and he cleared his throat.

"I'm not going to walk away." He said seriously. "I refuse to be like my father."

"I'm not having a baby." She said, knowing that she needed to get it out there before he started promising to help raise a child that wasn't going to come. "I've already got an appointment."

"Oh." He breathed out. He bit his lip. "Is it because of my reaction?"

"No." She said, shaking her head. "I can't have a baby right now, Gendry. I have so much left that I want to do. Perhaps when I'm older."

"Yeah. That makes sense." He sighed out. Quiet fell between them again and he seemed to hesitate before speaking once more. "Can I come with you? To the appointment."

"Why?" She asked.

"Whatever else has happened between us, you're still my best friend Arya. I want to be there for you." He said softly. "Please let me be."

She studied his face for a long time before she finally nodded.

"Okay."

* * *

After Gendry left, Jon made his way up to her room just as she suspected that he would and she sighed as she motioned him inside. They both laid down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling which still had the glow in the dark stars that he'd helped her put on when they were much younger. She didn't attempt to start a conversation, knowing that he would do it when he was ready to talk, and instead she laid there contentedly. For the first time since she had found out about the pregnancy, she felt truly calm and she wanted to hold onto that feeling as long as she could.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Jon asked, finally breaking the silence between them.

"He's your best friend and roommate." She said simply. "I didn't want you to lash out at him. This isn't all on him, you know? I made the decision to have sex with him."

"Why though?" Jon asked. "I didn't think you saw him in that way."

She turned her head to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you blind?" She asked and he gave her a confused face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked.

"I had a crush on him the moment you brought him home." She admitted. "I thought that it had gone away for a few years but I don't think it ever truly did. He's an attractive guy."

"You care about him." Jon said, studying her face.

"Of course I do. He's my best friend." She said, fighting the light blush that tried to make itself known. Jon gave her an unimpressed look.

"You know that's not what I meant." He said sternly. She sighed as she turned her face back to the ceiling.

"Yes, okay. I care about him." She sighed. "It's probably love, but he doesn't feel the same so it doesn't really matter anyway."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Jon said quietly and she glanced at him.

"What are you talking about?" She asked and he shrugged as best he could while lying down.

"You've never seen the way he looks at you when you're not looking." He told her. "He looks at you like you're something rare and beautiful that he's not really sure what to do with."

"That's not true." She said, shaking her head. "He told me himself that he put me in a box in his mind that made me untouchable."

"Maybe, but have you wondered why he had to?" Jon asked, looking at her with his brows raised. "It's because he wanted you in the first place."

"Then why even put me in the box to begin with?" She asked, still not convinced.

"Maybe he's afraid." Jon suggested. "Of other people's reactions, of your reaction."

"What's up with you?" She asked, deflecting their line of conversation because she couldn't afford to have that little spark of hope inside her grow any more. "You were pissed by the idea that we'd had sex just an hour ago and now you're trying to convince me that he's secretly in love with me or something. What's up with that?"

"You and Gendry make each other happy." He said quietly. "I've never seen you smile as much as when you're with him. I think that means something, is all. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy and I think that he's the one person who could make you feel that way every day. I reacted without thinking when I realized what was going on but the more I think about it, the more that the two of you make sense. It's like a foregone conclusion."

"Well, keep dreaming because it's not going to happen." She said seriously. Jon looked at her for a long moment before he sighed.

"Okay, Arya." He said, rolling off the side of the bed to his feet. He didn't say anything else as he left her room and she blew out a long breath before getting up to attach her phone to her speaker and started blasting music in an attempt to quell her thoughts. She didn't want to think about Gendry or her pregnancy for just a little while.

* * *

The day of her appointment came quicker than she expected and she really wished that her family would stop acting like the were walking on eggshells around her. She'd told her parents that Gendry was going to take her to the appointment and they'd agreed graciously, saying that she could do whatever she was comfortable with, but now all of them were looking at her as if they thought she was going to break. She was almost grateful when Gendry showed up until she realized that she now had to endure an awkward car ride with him to the clinic.

They climbed into his car easily and she took note of how small the space was and the fact that she had no escape from any tense conversation they had. She took a deep breath and blew it out before closing the car door and allowing him to pull out of the driveway to drive into the city. The radio was playing softly, some radio station with old rock music, and it alleviated the obvious silence between them.

"I was going to bring coffee but I wasn't sure if you were allowed to have anything before the procedure." He said finally and she took a moment to collect herself before answering.

"I can't have anything until after." She told him.

"Well, maybe we can get something then." He said, sounding unsure of himself.

"Maybe." She commented.

She knew she was being awkward with him but she couldn't get Jon's words out of her mind and it made her wonder if he was right. She figured that he wasn't but it still made her act even stranger than normal but she hoped that he just chalked that up to her being nervous about the procedure. The last thing she wanted was for him to realize the truth.

It took less time than she expected to make it to the clinic but she suspected that it was because it was so early in the morning that there hadn't been that much traffic. Gendry found a place to park easily and they climbed out to make their way inside so she could sign in. The woman at the desk gave her a stack of papers to fill out on a clipboard and she took it with her to find a seat. Gendry sat next to her with his hands clasped in his lap as she filled out the paperwork.

It took her a few minutes but eventually she got finished and returned it to the lady before moving back to her seat. Her leg started bouncing immediately as she looked around at the posters on the wall that were a mix of ones displaying rules for safe sex and regular ones that she'd seen at her regular doctors office which showed the baby in utero with facts written next to it. She jumped slightly when Gendry's hand came to rest on her knee to stop the bouncing and she turned to look at him with wide eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." She nodded, chewing on her lip. "Just a little nervous."

He studied her face for a long moment before he met her eyes with a serious look on his face.

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" He asked, his voice soft and understanding and she blew out a long breath. "I'm with you either way but I don't want you to do something you might regret."

"I'm sure." She said firmly before she took his hand in hers. "Thank you for being here."

"Of course." He said as he squeezed her hand lightly.

They fell quiet again as others around them got called back and she took comfort from his warm hand clasped in hers and his steady presence, allowing it to calm her nerves, until her name was called and she stood to go back into the examination room. She left him in the waiting room, not wanting him to be present for the actual procedure, which he respected.

The nurse who led her back gave her a gown to change into after asking a few questions and left her alone in the room. She changed quickly, afraid that someone would come in before she was ready, and laid down on the examination table to spread the thin paper blanket over her lap. She stared at the ceiling, which was painted with gentle blue waves, and she supposed that the image was meant to be calming.

She wasn't sure how long she waited as the minutes ticked by so slowly that it felt like hours had passed but finally the doctor stepped into the room. She noticed that the woman was joined by a nursing assistant and she pulled in a long breath before sitting up to greet them. The doctor gave her a smile and sat down on the rolling chair next to the counter and laid a file on top of it.

"Now, I'm going to walk you through the procedure before we go ahead with it. Is that alright?" She asked and Arya nodded.

"Yes." She voiced.

"Alright. What you're here for is a termination and the procedure is actually quite simple." She started. "I'll use the speculum to open your cervix and then we use a machine to essentially vacuum out your uterus. The procedure only takes five to ten minutes."

"Okay." She nodded.

"The first two days after the procedure, you will likely have heavy bleeding and some cramping but then it should slow to being almost like a regular period." She explained before looking up to meet her eyes. "Do you understand what I've just explained to you?"

"I do." Arya nodded.

"Do you still wish to go through with the procedure?" She asked and Arya pulled in a breath.

"Yes." She answered simply.

"Alright, then I need you to lay back for me and place your feet in the stirrups please." She said.

Arya nodded again and laid back before shuffling slightly until she was at the end of the bed. She placed her feet in the stirrups just as the doctor had told her to and she heard her and the assistant moving around to presumably get things ready. Finally she heard the doctor sit back into the rolling chair and position herself correctly before her hand came to rest gently on Arya's knee.

"I'm going to insert the speculum now, is that alright?" She asked.

"Yeah." Arya said softly.

She felt the cool metal of the tool touch her and she forced her gaze to focus on the ceiling as she waited for the next step, focusing on steadying her breathing rather than what was actually happening.

"You might feel a bit of a pinch now." The doctor said and she nodded rapidly.

She felt something being inserted past the speculum and she closed her eyes as she heard a soft click before a sudden pain came from low in her belly. It wasn't bad, she'd had worse cramps during her period, but it still made her blow out a long breath. She forced her mind to focus on other things as she laid there, trying to distract herself until the procedure was complete, and she managed to do just that.

Soon enough the doctor was removing the speculum and helping her straighten out her gown as the assistant took the tray of tools away to be cleaned. The doctor gave her a thick pad to help with the bleeding before going through the discharge instructions with her.

"Now, as I said, you can expect bleeding for a few days but if it remains heavy or doesn't stop you should go to the hospital." She said seriously and Arya nodded.

"I understand." She said.

The doctor nodded and left her alone in the room once more so that she could get dressed. She hated the feel of the pad between her legs but knew she'd hate to blood getting everywhere more so she did her best to ignore it. Her stomach was cramping slightly but she ignored that as well as she gather her jacket and bag in her arms and left the examination room to make her way back to the waiting room.

She signed out quickly as Gendry joined her next to the counter before following him out onto the sidewalk. His eyes were tracing over her face as if he was searching for something before he touched her arm lightly and stopped their steps.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

It was his genuine concern that set her off and the tears started flowing with no way for her to stop them. His eyes widened and she caught the surprise in his expression before he reached out and dragged her into him. He wrapped his arms securely around her while she pressed her face into his shoulder and breathed in the woodsy scent that was so familiar to her that it felt like it was ingrained in her very skin. She wasn't even sure why she was crying, she didn't regret having the abortion, but knowing that still wasn't enough to stop the tears.

She leaned into him, taking the comfort that he was offering, until she was able to focus on calming herself down. She wasn't sure how long they stood there, in the middle of the sidewalk, before her tears finally slowed and then stopped but she found that she couldn't bring herself to care. She hadn't been this close to Gendry since the night they'd slept together and it was nice to have her friend back, if only for a little while. When she finally had a grasp on her emotions, she pulled out of his embrace and found him looking at her seriously.

"Are you alright?" He repeated, his voice cautious like he was afraid it would set her off again.

"I am." She said. He looked unconvinced.

"Why were you crying?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Would you believe me if I said, I don't know?" She asked softly, turning to walk the rest of the way to his car. "I think that it was just a lot. The pregnancy, the procedure, the stress of it all. I think I just needed a moment to release all of it, but I'm okay now."

"So, you don't regret it?" He asked as they climbed into his car.

"No." She told him honestly. "It was the right thing, I think."

"Okay." He said with a nod.

* * *

It was when they were almost back to her house that something occurred to her and she turned to look at him.

"You know, we never finished our discussion about what happened." She said quietly and he glanced at her.

"We don't need to talk about it." He said and she raised an eyebrow.

"I think we do." She said. He glanced at her again before a sigh left his lips and he pulled off to the side of the road and turned the car off before turning in his seat to look at her.

"You really want to talk about this?" He asked. "Now?"

"If we don't talk about it now, we never will." She said, knowing that she was right. Their friendship had already been impacted heavily by everything that had happened and she knew that if they didn't talk about it that it would just drive the wedge deeper.

"We made a mistake, Arya." He said.

"Is that all it was?" She asked, the hurt rising. "A mistake."

"That's all it can be." He said firmly.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She asked.

"Look Arya. I love you okay, and I think it's obvious that I'm attracted to you, but I meant what I said. You're still young, too young." He said and she scoffed but he ignored it as he pressed on. "Maybe we can revisit this, when you're a bit older."

"So what? You want me to wait for you?" She asked. "Until _you're_ ready?"

"No." He breathed out. "I would never ask you to wait for me. You have your whole life ahead of you Arya, and you're going to do amazing things, I know that."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" She snapped.

"There are so many things for you to discover out there and you can't do that if you're with me. I would just hold you back." He said, his face pained and she sighed.

"You wouldn't be holding me back." She argued. "I love you, don't you understand that?"

"You're going to university soon. That's the time when people discover who they are outside of their families and old lives. It's the time when they let loose and get drunk and do stupid things, like date the wrong person or get too drunk the night before a test. I want you to have all of those experiences and you can't do that if you're with me." He said.

"Maybe I don't want all of those experiences." She said. She knew that she was being a little childish but she couldn't seem to stop herself. He sighed and reached over to cup her face.

"Maybe you think that now but you might change your mind later." He said seriously.

"That's stupid." She told him, desperate to get him to agree with her. "I want you. I can wait for you to be ready."

"I love you, Arya." He said, and this time she knew he meant it in a romantic sense rather than a friendly one. "But don't wait. No matter how much I want you to, it wouldn't be right for me to ask. I can't be selfish with you."

"You can't control whether I wait or not." She said stubbornly. He sighed.

"I need you to at least try to have those experiences Arya. Please." He said.

"Why?" She asked. "Why does it matter so much to you?"

"Because I know what it's like to be held back from all of it and I don't want you to ever feel like that." He said and she blew out a long breath as it finally clicked in her head why he was acting the way he was about this. "I love you enough to let you go."

She knew that he'd grown up in foster care most of his life after his mother had passed away and he'd never gotten the chance to go to college or travel or do any of the things that she took for granted. He'd already been working at Mott's Auto Shop when he was her age and was still there. He didn't want to be the reason that she missed out on everything that he'd never gotten the chance to do and he thought that them being together would do that.

It occurred to her then that he was likely still repressing things about his childhood that he didn't want to deal with. She knew that he'd started seeing a therapist recently to work through some of the things that he'd experienced as a young kid and the fact that he was able to voice as much as he had during this conversation told her that he was truly trying with his therapy. She felt proud of him but in that moment, she knew that it wasn't just her, that he wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone. It was that realization that made her stop pushing.

"Okay." She breathed out.

"Okay?" He asked.

"Okay." She nodded. "I'll try."

"Good." He said softly.

The rest of the drive to her house was spent in silence and when he pulled in behind her father's car she turned to him before leaning over to place a kiss against his cheek. He looked over at her in surprise and she gave him a small smile as she fought back another wave of tears.

"Thank you, for being there for me today." She said.

"I'll always be here for you, Arya." He said and she nodded.

"I know." She said softly.

She got out of the car and waved as he pulled out to leave before making her way inside. She wasn't in the mood to deal with everyone and their questions so she went upstairs and locked the door to her room.

* * *

She spent the rest of the day wallowing in her bed and ignoring everyone as she came to terms with the fact that she and Gendry weren't good for each other in this moment in time. She had spent the day thinking over what he had said to her about going to college and experiencing all the things he never got to and she realized very quickly that she wasn't sure if she even wanted to go to college. At least, not yet. But he'd been right about something, about finding herself away from her family, and she thought that it maybe wasn't such a bad idea.

She decided, probably rashly, that she was going to take a gap year before going to college and with that in mind, she decided that she also didn't want to spend the year in King's Landing. On impulse, she went online and booked a one-way ticket to Braavos and started packing a suitcase as the sun fell and the stars sprinkled across the sky before she tiptoed out of her room and across the hall to knock on Sansa's door.

Her sister opened the door looking disheveled and sleepy, rubbing at her eyes as she stared at Arya, and she almost felt bad about waking her. She pushed that feeling to the back of her mind and gave her sister serious eye contact.

"I need you to do something for me." She said. Sansa seemed to study her face for a moment before she nodded.

"Just let me get dressed and we can talk." She said, already turning away from the door to make her way to the closet.

Arya padded back across the hall to her own room and sat down at her desk to write a note to her parents to explain everything before writing another one for Gendry. It took her a moment to find the right words but eventually she finished it and slipped it into an envelope and scribbled his name across the front of it. Sansa finally made her way into her room, fully dressed, and she watched as her sister's eyes trailed over the room and the large suitcase on the bed.

"What's going on?" She asked quietly.

"I can't be here right now." She answered.

"You don't have to leave." Sansa said seriously.

"I know I don't _have_ to." She said gently. "But I _need_ to, just for a little while."

"Mum and Dad are going to be heartbroken." Sansa said and Arya sighed.

"It's not like I'm leaving with no intention of ever coming back Sans." She said. "I'll come back, and we can call and text. I just.....I need to not be here right now."

"Did something happen with Gendry?" Sansa asked. "Is that why you're running?"

"I'm not running." She protested.

"Then what do you call this?" Sansa asked, motioning to the suitcase.

"It's me taking some time, away from everyone, to find myself." She told her. "This isn't about Gendry, not really. He just said something that made me realize that this was something that I needed to do."

"You want to find yourself, okay, that's fine, but at least talk to mum and dad about it first instead of skulking off in the middle of the night." Sansa said.

"You know they'd never let me go alone." She pointed out. "Now, are you going to drive me to the airport or not?"

"Fine." Sansa said. "But you should know that I disapprove of this."

"Duly noted." She said, moving to grab the suitcase from the bed and throw the backpack that she was going to use as a carry-on over her shoulder before following her sister out into the hall and down the stairs. She left the note for her parents on her desk.

The ride to the airport was spent in silence but she could practically feel the disapproval radiating from her sister. She ignored it and instead stared out the window at the streetlights as they flew past and eventually Sansa saw fit to turn the radio on in an attempt to drown out the silence between them. When Sansa finally pulled in and parked in front of the airport, Arya turned to her and handed her the letter with Gendry's name on it.

"Will you give this to him for me?" She asked softly. Sansa took the letter from her hand gently and nodded.

"Of course." She said before looking at Arya seriously. "Call me when you land safely. I don't care what time it is."

"I will." Arya assured her. Sansa blew out a sigh.

"I think you're making a mistake." She said.

"Maybe." She shrugged as she climbed out of the car. "But it's mine to make."

Sansa climbed out as well and came around the car as she was removing her suitcase from the boot and wrapped her arms around her in a gentle hug. Arya returned the embrace after a moment of surprise and the held each other for a long time before Arya separated herself from her sister.

"I don't want to miss my flight." She said softly.

"I'll miss you." Sansa said, her eyes teary.

"I'll miss you too." She said, hugging her sister again before forcing herself to walk away. She stopped at the door and turned back to see Sansa waving at her, which she reciprocated before continuing in. Her heart clenched at the thought of everything she was leaving behind and she chewed on her lip to prevent even more tears as she waited in a line to check in.

It was hard to leave but she knew that it was the right decision. She'd come back, she knew that.

* * *

He was staring at the ceiling of his bedroom, cursing himself for pushing away the one person that he'd ever truly loved, when a knock came at the door. He almost didn't want to even get up but he knew that if someone was knocking on his bedroom door then Jon had to have let them in and it wasn't likely that he could avoid them. As he rolled off his bed and made his way over, he had a feeble hope on his heart that it was Arya, coming to tell him that he was an idiot and demanding they work through his reservation about their relationship together but when the door swung open, her found that it was Sansa instead.

He knew that his face fell slightly when he saw her but he did his best to hide it by forcing a polite smile onto his face as he looked at her. She was looking at him with something like pity on her face, which he found that he didn't particularly care for, but he became distracted when she put her hand out. He glanced down and saw the letter clutched in her hand, catching his name in Arya's handwriting on the front, and he looked up at Sansa in question as he took it from her.

"Arya asked me to give this to you." She said.

"Why didn't she just give it to me herself?" He asked.

"She's gone." Sansa said gently.

"Gone? What do you mean?" He asked, his eyes darting over her face quickly.

"She left." Sansa answered. "Said she needed some time away."

"Where did she go?" He asked and Sansa shrugged.

"Read the letter. I'm sure she explained everything." She said before turning away and moving back toward the door, where he noticed Jon was waiting, and he sighed as he closed his bedroom door once more.

His heart felt shattered as he sat on the end of the bed and the realization that she'd really left hit him. He stared down at the letter for a long time before he got the courage to open it, hoping that it would explain this.

_Gendry,_

_I'm sorry to leave like this but I thought it was for the best. I wanted to write this letter to explain everything to you because I think that you deserve to know so here goes. I didn't leave because I was angry or disappointed in you so please don't blame yourself for this. When we were speaking, it occurred to me that maybe you weren't ready for a relationship with anyone and that it wasn't personal just because it was me and I wanted to apologize for pushing. That wasn't right of me. I should have accepted in when you said no, you deserve that much. The reason I left was because of something else you said in that conversation. You were speaking generally and not really about me but you said that the first year of college was when people found themselves and discovered who the were outside their families and old lives and I think that you were right. So that's what I'm doing, finding myself and discovering who I am away from all of it. Maybe it's not in college but I think it'll work out okay anyway, so I'll leave you with this. I love you, I probably always will, but as you said, I love you enough to let you go. Perhaps we'll find one another again, when we're better for each other. I hope so, anyways._

_Yours Always,_

_Arya_


End file.
